The life and work of Josh Rachlis: Copywriter, voice actor, comedian, TV and radio personality, screenwriter, cartoonist, singer/songwriter, environmentalist, politician and cupcake judge.
What idiot would screw up guaranteed sex by telling the girl he's in bed with that she reminds him of an unattractive 80's sitcom actress? I would. Here's me telling Humble & Fred Radio the tragic tale today.
Humble & Fred contributor Kelly Cutrara, hiding her morning face. I wish I had hair and/or a woman to hide my face behind, too.
Watching Humble & Fred do their thing, mere moments before I was unexpectedly invited into that empty chair to chat with them on air.
CBC Radio's As It Happens just started following @joshrachlis. And I wasn't even following them. Uh oh. Am I about to be in the news for something? What did I do after my friend Jessmade me drink almost an entire glass of wine last night? Must... try... to... remember...
Last night while shopping for overpriced cereal in a variety store, I started reading the Special K box and thought, "Wow, this writer really understands women." And then I realized I wrote that box. Sigh. If only I could translate my understanding women into, say, getting a woman to like me.
In January 2012, Philip Kates, my friend of ten years, passed away from liver cancer. He was a commercial director I met when I hired him to shoot a Maple Leaf Chicken commercial that I wrote. His funeral was in Alberta, where he was living with his wife. A few weeks later there was a memorial in Toronto. I got some laughs during my improvised speech. And I think Philip would have been very pleased about that. To watch Philip and I talking to the audience about our film at the HollyShorts Film Festival in August 2010, see my old blog post about that by clicking here. And here's the speech I gave at his memorial:
Philip and I meeting fans at the HollyShorts Film Festival in LA in August 2010, for the premiere of 3 Dates, a film that I wrote and he directed.
Feb. 17, 2012 At the Toronto memorial for Philip Kates.
Feb. 17, 2012 At the Toronto memorial for Philip Kates.
From those dates, you can see how old he was. Funny, I always thought he was younger.
The January 12, 2013 episode of CBC Radio's DNTO (Definitely Not The Opera) was about "How are you managing your debt?" (To see the web page for that episode, click here.) I was on the show telling the story about how I rented out my old condo for a night to help pay for my new condo that was being built. That one-night rental resulted in a huge party in which my apartment got trashed. Which resulted in me being on the American TV show Judge Karen's Court. Yes, my life sucks. But at least it provides entertainment for all of America, and now all of Canada. To hear my story on DNTO, click on the orange arrow:
And here's the Judge Karen's Court episode mentioned in the story:
Here's me telling the story in the CBC studio a few days before the show aired.
A couple of days ago, a woman emailed me asking me to host the Robbie Burns night at her Scottish pub, saying The Toronto Star would be covering the festivities and she wanted a fun host and she thought I could do my angry Scottish Mini Man accent for some of it. She asked if I had a kilt. I told her that I don't and confided that I'm actually Jewish. She didn't seem to mind. But she had only told me the area it was in, not the name of the pub. So I thought I'd head up to the 'hood and see if I could find the place to check it out and have a drink. "The Piper's Pub & Grill" sounded like a Scottish name so I peered in the window and saw... A poster with my name on it. So, I guess that means I'm hosting this thing?
Aye, Laddie! Go "Like" them on Facebook here and come out to the night. I have a feeling I'll need help finishing my haggis.
Here's the poster in the window, Laddie!
Here's me and my friend having a non-alcoholic drink while scoping out the pub and investigating the atmosphere. We were fans of the passionate musical duo in the background.
As a reminder of the Angry Scotsman the pub owner is talking about, here's wee me acting in commercials I wrote for Kellogg's Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites and Mini Cereal Bars a few wee years ago:
To promote the IKEA Winter Sale, I wrote this commercial featuring Jonas (the IKEA voice) interviewing a Snow Woman he built. Snow big deal, that's just how I roll.
For IKEA Midnight Madness, I wrote a script involving Jonas (the IKEA voice) being Auto-Tuned. Since I had to write so many scripts before getting one approved by the Group Creative Director and then by IKEA, I'm pretty tapped out of witty writing. So I'll just paste in what the sound house director, Andrew Bradley, posted on his blog: "I had the opportunity to direct another IKEA radio spot recently. Josh Rachlis wrote a fun script involving Jonas (the IKEA voice) being Auto-Tuned. I think Jonas had a great time doing it and let’s be honest, the only time we’d want to hear him sing is if it was electronically assisted like this. Comedy he can do. Singing, not so much."
TITLE: Auto-Tuned
CLIENT: IKEA
AGENCY: Leo Burnett Toronto
CREATIVE DIRECTOR: Morgan Kurchak
COPYWRITER: Josh Rachlis
DIRECTOR: Andrew Bradley, RMW
ENGINEER: Kyle Gudmundson, RMW
Thanks to VoiceTrax West, L.A. for patching us in to Jonas.
On November 30th, 2012, we recorded at RMW Music. There's me in the studio, with the producer drinking coffee, and the IKEA announcer woman in the booth. I can't remember her name, but she's got a nice voice.
Kevin Braithwaite played the DJ. While we recording, I half-jokingly and fully-racistly asked him: "You're black. What's some street hip hop language?" He was like, "I dunno, man. I like rock." So basically, we're both about the same level of blackness. Which, as you can tell from my attempt at an urban pose here, is not very black.
I'm cleaning my desk at work and it just occurred to me that some of the Christmas gifts I got are stressing me out. Am I a jerk, or am I right in thinking that gifts shouldn't confuse me and/or make me do work?
On October 5th, my friend Anat Cohen was in town from Ottawa and wanted to do something fun. So I decided to take her out to Nuit Blanche, Toronto's annual all-night, city-wide, contemporary art event that was happening that night. Unfortunately, even though I like to draw and got 100% on a Grade 12 Art exam (still my greatest accomplishment), I don't really understand art. So Anat was taken along for the ride as I tried to figure things out.
This past summer, I posted about an audition I did for the new W Network show "Come Date With Me Canada." Well, that audition went pretty well, as you can see in the just-released trailer for the show. Which move do you think impressed the lovely blonde more: Burning my hands while cooking, groaning red-faced on the floor, or revealing that my relationships don't last long? Place your bets after watching me school my fellow suitors on the art of seduction. The trailer is posted here.
Extra tidbit: If you're a single guy and think you have smoother moves than I showed in the trailer (trust me, you do), I just got this message from the show's Casting Director: "Hey Josh, sounds like you had a great time on Come Date! We're still casting for guys 35-45 for our last two episodes; if you know anyone who might be interested, we'd love to hear from them! I'll bump them to the top of the list if they say you sent them."
Last night at An Evening with Judd Apatow & Leslie Mann at TIFF Bell Lightbox in Toronto, Judd kept asking interviewer Richard Crouse, and the audience, why Toronto mayor Rob Ford had been removed from office that morning. If I'd had the nerve to put my hand up during the Q&A, I would have explained it to Judd. Instead, I filmed myself explaining it in the empty theatre afterward. Because that's how I roll.
Thanks to the fast-paced world of the Internet, my writing is being done in shorter spurts and at unexpected moments. So until I sit down to write my Louis CK-style hour-long stand-up comedy special, I might as well share this kind of thing with you. Here's my angry response to comments about the new World War Z movie trailer. You can see the trailer and read all the comments on the JoBlo.com site by clicking here. Here's what I wrote:
This looks like a fun thrill ride. What's wrong with you people?
1. Stop complaining when a movie isn't exactly like the book. They are different media. They have to be structured differently. If you've ever written a script and a book, or you have SEEN a movie or READ a book, you'll know that. Also, you've already read the book. If you want it exactly like the book, go read the book again. 2. Zombies don't actually exist. So they can be fast or slow in a movie. Either is correct. If you want slow zombies, go back and watch a movie where you liked the slow zombies. Maybe one made back when they could ONLY make slow zombies because of movie technology. I, for one, like the idea of fast zombies, because they're FAST. If you can just run (or walk swiftly) away from your enemy, that's not very scary. 3. Why do you want to see the zombies in a trailer about a zombie movie? This is a TRAILER. A teaser to make you want more. So, if you want to see the zombies, the trailer has done its job. And also, it hasn't spoiled the movie for you. I don't want to see the zombies in the trailer. Pay your 15 bucks in the theatre and take your chances. If you need to know exactly what the zombies will look like, make your own zombie movie and watch that. Or write your own zombie book first, and then make your movie exactly like the book you just wrote.
On Oct. 17th, I sat on a panel at an Advertising Summit on "The Future of Advertising, PR and Corporate Communications" sponsored by HOMAD (Heads of Media and Design), with all the heads of Media and Design college programs in attendance at George Brown College. Panelists were to "address how changes in the industry are impacting their specific role/discipline and offer insight on how educators can prepare graduates for employment in the ever-changing advertising/communications world." I mostly ranted about what pisses me off about the ad biz and threw out ideas for what I think young creative people should do in their job search. But afterward, the profs came up to me to thank me for my great thinking. One was telling me that he teaches kids drawing and that they think they have to draw like him. He liked my vision for teaching young people that there are lots of different ways to express yourself. Hopefully I'll be sent the footage from the event so that I can post my ramblings. In the meantime, you can read about the event by visiting the report by Boost Agents here.
My creative partner George Longley and I created the musical Eggo commercial that launched in April 2012. (Check it out here.) At the time, we also created a second spot with a different song. At long last, the toaster has popped, so to speak, and the second spot is on the air! Feast your eyes and ears on it below:
My above question for Seth Rogen appeared on CNN.com just over a year ago, as part of a series of questions from iReporters for Seth Rogen and his writing partner, Will Reiser, who were promoting their movie 50/50. The question I submitted was officially "vetted" by CNN, and then it was featured on the page advertising the upcoming interview. And in the Q&A session, my question was given the cool position of being the very last question. But I only just now finally screen-recorded the interview and edited it down to my part to put on YouTube. So for those of you who missed it back then, here's the story: In September 2011, I started posting a few videos on the CNN iReports site. Producers from the site contacted me and said they thought my stuff was really funny and they asked me to submit questions for their celebrity interviews. When I saw that Seth Rogen was going to be one of those celebs, I saw my chance at redemption. Because a year earlier, I'd been house-sitting for my friend Jenn on a tiny street where Director Sarah Polley was shooting her movie Take This Waltz with Seth Rogen and Michelle Williams (and Sarah Silverman, who wasn't in the scenes on the street). All month I thought about walking over to say hi to Seth. I even talked to a tech guy who had cords on my lawn and who said that for the inconvenience of the shoot I could likely get a meet and greet with the Director and actors. But I never got the guts to do anything. Then, one day, while I was standing in the doorway of the basement apartment, drinking aloe juice, Seth Rogen walked by. He said "Hey."I wanted to reply: "Hey, how's it going? How's your Green Hornet movie going? I'm a comedian and Jewish and Canadian, like you. Do you want to hang out? Maybe we could make some comedy together." But instead I said: "Hey." And that was that. Then I proceeded to beat my head against a wall for a year, bemoaning the fact that I'd blown my once-in-a-lifetime chance to ever be living on a tiny, secluded street with a big Hollywood comedian who had nothing else to do between takes other than to hang out with me. I tried to come up with ideas like making a song for him, but he was infamously not on Twitter, or Facebook, or anything. I toyed with the idea of making a song for Sarah Silverman, so that I could become her friend, and then maybe I could get in with Seth through her. But I never did that either. Instead, I stewed. And in the end, well, I turned the lemons of the situation into the lemonade of this video. Now, instead of me having blown a possible friendship with Seth Rogen, I've made a video so that millions of people can see that I blew a possible friendship with Seth Rogen. Hmm... Ok, let's pretend that's a better situation. Otherwise I'm going to start crying again.
On September 20, 2012, the Toronto chapter of 350.org held an event to talk about global warming. Afterwards, a panel talked about the importance of people being more green, government being more green and of people demanding eco policies from government. The last person to ask a question, I challenged the panel with my observation that a majority of Canadian voters vote for a party that cares about the environment, and so we must work together rather than let egos and in-fighting allow the destruction of the environment.
From left to right in the video, the panel was:
1) Tim Grant - Chair of the Harbord Village Residents' Association, and co-creator of the Green Teacher Magazine
2) Peter Tabuns - Member of the Ontario Legislative Assembly for Toronto-Danforth (NDP)
3) Matthew J. Hoffmann - Associate Professor of Political Science at U of T
Here are details about the event, from the Facebook event page:
Riverside Public House, 725 Queen St. E., Toronto, ON, M4M 2H5
350.org Toronto presents:
A tongue-in-cheek tribute to Minister of the Environment Peter Kent – we will be screening the 30 minute, 1984 documentary “The Greenhouse Effect and Planet Earth” (written, hosted, and narrated by Kent) which explains the science behind climate change and states in no uncertain terms that “the greenhouse effect must be considered as the world’s greatest environmental concern.”
Since making the move from journalism to politics, Kent has abandoned any semblance of environmentalism: in December 2011 he formally withdrew Canada from the Kyoto Protocol, he used the 2012 Omnibus Budget Bill C-38 to eliminate funding for energy efficiency programs and drastically limit environmental assessments for industrial projects, and he has supported tar sands development at every turn, pushing to maintain the $1.4 billion in subsidies the Canadian government gives to fossil fuel corporations annually.
The film will be followed by three speakers, Matthew J. Hoffmann, Associate Professor of Political Science at UofT, Peter Tabuns, member of the Ontario Legislative Assembly for Toronto-Danforth (NDP), and Tim Grant - chair of the Harbord Village Residents' Association, and co-creator of the Green Teacher Magazine. They will comment on the current state of the climate and what we, as concerned citizens, can do about it, as well as fielding questions.
After that you will have a chance to meet the Toronto 350 team while enjoying the musical stylings of Juan Pablo Bermudez Rey.
Questions? Post here or email toronto350@gmail.com
High-res poster available here: https://www.sindark.com/350/kentposter.png
Like us on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Toronto350.org
Follow us on twitter: https://twitter.com/Toronto350
Join our 350.org Local page: http://local.350.org/350-toronto/
Matthew J. Hoffmann: https://matthewhoffmann.wordpress.com/
Peter Tabuns: http://petertabuns.ca/
Tim Grant: https://www.facebook.com/tim.grant.77985
Music: http://individual.utoronto.ca/juanpa/
This show aired May 10, 2012 and I've already blogged about it, but I've just now finally screen recorded the episode from the Slice website and have edited together the brief moments where I was shown in the beginning and end of the episode. So, for those of you who missed it on air, you can now see me in all my humiliation glory. Here's what to watch for in the video: 00:19 I awkwardly introduce myself. 00:46 I awkwardly reveal that I've had dates end very quickly. 01:14 Her notes summarize me as "comedy, sarcastic, Evan Handler" (FYI: Evan Handler is the bald guy from Sex And The City, whom I'm often told I look like) 01:30 Back of my bald head. 01:35 Reprise of me apologizing for not making any sense. But at least she laughed!
Below I'll paste in the synopsis from this link: http://www.slice.ca/Shows/ShowsPage.aspx?Root_Title_ID=279730 Synopsis Love Hunter Jodi is an outspoken thirty-something, who is best described as a work-focused go-getter. She even admits to treating potential partners like candidates interviewing for a job. Can you blame her? Between her bustling career, her family and her charity work - Jodi has little time to devote to finding the man of her dreams. Her likes: a confident, self-assured family man with a keen sense of humour. Her dislikes: someone who’s lazy. Our prescription: we temporarily take Jodi off the career track and put her on to the dating fast track. With no time to waste, over the course of seven days, Jodi will go speed dating, be set up by a professional matchmaker and then by someone closer to home… all in the hopes of finding her Mr Right. With three guys to choose from, the question is: who will progress to a second interview… er date? Here's the IMDB page for the episode, which I have proudly submitted my name to: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2404713/ And if my video has whet your appetite to see Jodi's other dates, you can watch the full episode here: http://www.slice.ca/Slice/Watch/Default.aspx?ID=v&releasePID=iuwuWSQ05vo_yQTJco8i6NvOSr0NEBfu
My voice can currently be heard in the U.S. in a Rent-A-Center radio ad that I acted in, called "Whirlpool Washer Interest." I got the part through my L.A. agent and was patched into the ad agency in Dallas to record it on September 9, 2012. I'm playing the bitchy credit card accounts phone rep. It really is a stretch for me to play a rude, disinterested person. But that's how amazing an actor I am. Click here to listen:
I actually wrote this print ad over a year ago, I think. But I came across it this morning while reading today's Metro paper on the subway. I guess it's so clever that it keeps on working for Bounce. Just like Bounce freshness keeps on working. (See what I did there? Watch and learn, aspiring copywriters. Watch and learn.)
The 1st part of the headline refers to the sheets, the 2nd part to the bar. The body copy reads: "Like taking control with sheets? Or want to kick back and let the dryer bar give you automatic Bounce freshness for about 4 months at a time? Whichever type you are, you'll be the type of person who has awesomely fresh laundry every time." Tagline: "How do you get your Bounce?"
For my show Josh Rachlis 180 ("All the news of Anderson Cooper 360. Half the degrees."), on Thursday I interviewed Lindsay Zier-Vogel as she manned her famous Love Lettering Project during "Celebrate Yonge" on Toronto's Yonge Street during the Toronto International Film Festival. Why has a cute little art project been covered by Taddle Creek Magazine, Global Television, CBC Radio's DNTO, Yahoo! News, The Toronto Star, CTV's Canada AM and more? Watch below and find out! (Oh, and just in case you didn't think I'm a legit reporter, it's also posted as a CNN iReport at http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-839749. Take that, Anderson!)
I've been planning to do fun interviews for a new online show
I'll call "Josh Rachlis 180." (All the news of Anderson Cooper 360.
Half the degrees.) While walking along Yonge Street during TIFF (Toronto
International Film Festival) on Thursday, I stopped in a pub washroom and
thought of the idea for The J List - a feature of JR180 where I interview
actors who are lower down the career line than The A List. Then I came across
my friend Lindsay's Love Lettering Project, told her my idea, and she told me
to interview her friend Andy, who happened to be standing there. So below is my
interview with Andy Lee, background actor in movies and TV shows like Pacific
Rim, Saving Hope, The LA Complex and Degrassi: The Next Generation. (To
maximize Andy's exposure to the world, and my exposure to Anderson Cooper, I've also posted it as a CNN iReport at http://ireport.cnn.com/docs/DOC-839743.)
Did you get one of these IKEA flyers in the mail yet? If so, you should think of two things. 1) Great deals on stylish furniture, and 2) Me slaving away to entertain you with a few short words that convey style, savings and selection, all at the same time. You'd be surprised at how particular IKEA is about having just the right headlines for their flyers. But after many back-and-forths, here are my 3 headline masterpieces! Now, I just have to figure out how to make my condo look like these photos.
Ok, I've been trying to come up with ideas for funny things to talk about on YouTube. Meanwhile, ridiculous things keep happening to me in real life and I've been relegating them to Facebook statuses. One of those ridiculous things just happened to me on a bus and I was about to write a status about it when I got off the bus. But it occurred to me, why not record myself talking about it? That might capture the story better. So, at the bottom of this entry, I will post the world's first Josh Rachlis Video Facebook Status.
But first, this one will require a little background: On Aug 6, 2012, I saw a cute girl waiting for a streetcar and while I was thinking about talking to her on the streetcar, a guy (maybe homeless, but probably just weird) told me I had big muscles. For those of you who aren't my Facebook friends, here are some screengrabs of the Facebook status that I wrote on my iPhone in my condo lobby right after the incident. You can see that 31 comments ensued.
Ok, so now you'll know why I couldn't believe that pretty much the exact same thing just happened to me, less than two weeks later. As you can see, people are excited to hear the tale:
So without further adieu, here's me telling the story about what happened:
And as proof of my tale, here's the crappy video of the guy talking to me, with occasional wistful pans to the object of my stymied affections:
According to the Facebook page for Come Date With My Canada, here's what this new TV show is about:
"Think you have the dating skills to take down the competition? Prove it. Four contestants compete for the attention of one lucky singleton... and a cash prize! Come DATE with Me features four males, from all walks of life and ages, vying for the attention of one lucky lady."
Well, I don't think for one second that I have any dating skills, but I'm always up for a challenge. So when my TV producer friend Samara suggested I contact the people at this show, I did so. An hour long phone interview with Susan the casting director ensued. Followed by this morning's 3-hour long interview in my condo. I gave Susan a tour of my place, which included me acting out the hypothetical dinner party date with my Smurf collection (Smurfette was the girl, I was the Smurf with an acoustic medieval guitar, Bay Street Lawyer was the Smurf who looked like a king, Sports Guy was Football Smurf, and Bar Guy was a beer drinking Smurf). I also improvised a little song on my guitar. And was asked to put on my Enviroman eco-superhero costume. I'm not sure if any of this will help me get on the show. But I sure entertained myself. And that's really what matters, right? At least, that's what I keep telling myself when I cry myself to sleep alone every night.
Susan packing up her camera after filming me in my Enviroman costume. She expressed surprise as to what my costume looked like. I guess she hadn't actually watched my eco music video. But I'm sure it was just a coincidence that she packed up right after the costume part.
Here's an IKEA Back To School radio ad that I wrote. It's called "Agreeing" and went to air on July 30. I know, I know - It's Back To School time already? How depressing! But hopefully this ad will help cheer you up. To listen to it, click here: IKEA Agreeing
On the left is Katherine Cappellacci, who played the daughter. Then there's me, who wrote this brilliant piece of comedy. Then there's Tracey Hoyt, who played the mom. And in the frame is a childhood photo of Jonas, who is the Swedish voice of IKEA and is in the radio ad too. Not sure why his childhood photo was in the recording studio, but it worked out for the purposes of this shot.
Currently airing across Canada, a new radio ad for Popeye's Chicken features me as a guy who's so passionate about his Popeye's Chicken that he's recording himself "unboxing" it, just like those people who make videos for YouTube of themselves unboxing new products like iPhones. At the recording session, the Copywriter (who's familiar with my work) told me: "I just knew you'd understand making an unboxing video." Not sure why he'd think I could get into the mindset of someone who puts their whole life on the Internet. But anyway, thanks for reading my blog post about the radio ad I just acted in! You can hear it by clicking here.
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2. Zombies don't actually exist. So they can be fast or slow in a movie. Either is correct. If you want slow zombies, go back and watch a movie where you liked the slow zombies. Maybe one made back when they could ONLY make slow zombies because of movie technology. I, for one, like the idea of fast zombies, because they're FAST. If you can just run (or walk swiftly) away from your enemy, that's not very scary.
3. Why do you want to see the zombies in a trailer about a zombie movie? This is a TRAILER. A teaser to make you want more. So, if you want to see the zombies, the trailer has done its job. And also, it hasn't spoiled the movie for you. I don't want to see the zombies in the trailer. Pay your 15 bucks in the theatre and take your chances. If you need to know exactly what the zombies will look like, make your own zombie movie and watch that. Or write your own zombie book first, and then make your movie exactly like the book you just wrote.