Radio movie review of She's Out Of My League

Here’s my review of the movie “She's Out Of My League." It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on March 20, 2010. I was excited to see this movie because, from the title, I thought it was going to be a documentary about my life. Because every girl I meet is out of my... Anyway, it wasn't about me. But the main actor, Jay Baruchel, is a geeky guy from Ottawa. So it's kind of about me. Except that Jay has built himself a successful, lucrative career in film and a glamourous, fantastic life in Hollywood. And I'm in Canada, uploading reviews of his movies to my blog. A blog which nobody other than my mother reads. So Jay has succeeded in life and I have failed. Anyway, what I was talking about? Oh, right. The movie review. Listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this one below or at http://vimeo.com/10381791.

Radio movie review of She's Out Of My League from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of The Informant!

Here’s my review of the movie “The Informant!” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on March 13, 2010. In the spirit of the movie,  which is about a corporate spy in the early 1990's, I called in my review from a pay phone in the street, just like a corporate spy in the early 1990's would have done. This shows how dedicated I am to giving my listeners an authentic experience. It also shows how afraid I am of getting brain cancer from my cell phone. But mostly the dedication thing. Listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this one below or at http://vimeo.com/10380583.

Radio movie review of The Informant! from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Inglourious Basterds

Here’s my review of the movie “Inglourious Basterds.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on March 6, 2010. Did I predict the Best Supporting Actor Oscar won by Christoph Waltz? Did I provide a tribute to my grandfather's brave contribution to World War II? Did I alienate our Nazi listeners? Find out by clicking on the video below or going to http://vimeo.com/10074146. And tune in for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab,” Saturdays 10am-11am, at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Inglourious Basterds from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

My "Mini Man" commercial scripts, for a deaf fan

Recently, a guy requested to be my friend on Facebook. Before accepting, I asked him if I knew him. Our exchange is below. I think it’s a pretty touching story, and he said he’d be cool with me sharing it on my blog. Hopefully it inspires us all to keep smiling in the face of adversity.

friend request

Between Bryan Adam Grant and You

Josh Rachlis 01 February at 09:44

hi, do i know you?

Bryan Adam Grant 01 February at 09:47

Not really. Are you the same Josh Rachlis who's in those Mini-Man commercials?

Josh Rachlis 01 February at 09:52

aye, laddie. that's me!

Bryan Adam Grant 01 February at 09:55

Sweet! :) Can you do me a favour then? I'm deaf you see and I saw those commercials when I still had my hearing but now since I can't hear, I can't remember what's being said. I can remember a bit but not the whole thing. I was wondering if I could get the text for both of them, if it's not too much trouble? I would really appreciate it.

So, for Bryan - obviously a man of bravery and of impeccable taste in comedy - below are the videos, accompanied by the words I wrote and spoke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ey2kcE3avc

“Mini Man”

MINI MAN: New Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. Chewy granola mixed with delicious flavours… Oh, it’s so true. But I’m not sure why they call them “mini.” Because they’re huge! Here, look at the size of this baby! (Aaah) Pieces of fruit the size of my nephew’s head! Oh, but you can eat a lot or just a little. Who could eat even one of these behemoths! This could feed an army for a year! Oh, hello… Aaaahhh!!

WOMAN: Aaaah!!!!

ANNOUNCER: New Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. They’re mini… If you’re not.

MINI MAN: I’m okay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAue8sfTNZ4

“Mini Lawyer”

MINI MAN: Ladies and gentlemen. The same Kellogg’s that deceived you with Mini Granola Bites now brings us… this! Oh, the goodness of Nutri-Grain, but mini. Which would be wonderful, aye. If… it… were… TRUE! Does this delicious snack look mini to any of you? “No.” “Why?” Because it’s huge! This is classic size misrepresentation!

ANNOUNCER: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Cereal Bars. They’re mini… If you’re not.

MINI MAN: I rest my case.

I illustrate the James Ready Beer Newsletter a 3rd time!

I've been called back into illustrating action! This time, a James Ready Beer employee took the computer and printer to Newfoundland and forgot them at his parent's house. So I was asked to hand-write the James Ready Newsletter, and once again took the liberty of adding my own little illustrations, thoughts and comments. Like me, these drawings look a lot better after a James Ready or two. Just sayin'. :-)

Radio movie review of Law Abiding Citizen

Here’s my review of the movie “Law Abiding Citizen.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 27, 2010. In the interest of full-disclosure, I will admit to having a man-crush on Mr. Gerard Butler. But I want you to know that I in no way let this influence my review. I may be a lovesick puppy, but I'm a professional one. Listen by clicking on the video below or going to http://vimeo.com/9969329. And listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab,” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Law Abiding Citizen from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Zombieland

Here’s my review of the movie “Zombieland.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 20, 2010. Don't worry, it's got scary zombies, but it's mostly a comedy. Just like how in the review I talk about my first slow dance with a girl in Grade 6. Scary and funny. Hmm... Now that I think about it, my love life hasn't really changed since then. Listen by clicking on the video below or going to http://vimeo.com/9969143. And listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab,” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Zombieland from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of The Hurt Locker

Here’s my review of the movie “The Hurt Locker.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 6, 2010.

My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. A regular guy who will persevere through anything to get you your review. You see, when I sat down to watch this movie, my stomach started tensing up right at the opening scene. I thought, “Wow, this is one powerful movie!” After the movie, though, I was still in stomach agony. Turns out I had the Norwalk stomach flu thingy. But, even on zero sleep, I still forced myself to a land-line in the morning so I could call in the review. Because nothing’s more important to me than fans like you. You are my Pepto Bismol. (Isn’t that a beautiful sentiment? Hey, Makers of Pepto Bismol, wanna sponsor my reviews?)

Listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vimeo.com/9284644

Radio movie review of The Hurt Locker from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Sherlock Holmes

Here’s my review of the movie “Sherlock Holmes.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on January 30, 2010.

My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. However, I must admit that I’ve been researching Robert Downey Jr. for the past few years, to figure out how I could maybe be as cool as him. I’ve also been researching ways to get Rachel McAdams to appear in my eco-comedy videos. Although, I’m probably wasting my time on that research, since I didn’t even have the guts to go up to her when I saw her walking around at the Word On The Street Festival in Toronto this Summer.

Listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102807282

Radio movie review: Sherlock Holmes

Josh Rachlis® | MySpace Video

On the radio reviewing the movie Up In The Air!

Here’s my review of the movie “Up In The Air.” I did it on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on January 20, 2010, with the show’s excellent host, Prab Dhanoa.

My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. Although, sometimes my life turns out to be my research. Like when the movie’s about a guy whose apartment is a barren shell and who spends all his time fleeing from the commitment of meaningful relationships.

Be sure to listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, from 10am to 11am on Saturdays at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102717527

Radio movie review: Up In The Air

Josh Rachlis® | MySpace Video

On the radio reviewing the movie Avatar!

Here’s my review of the movie “Avatar.” I did it on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on January 13, 2010, along with the show's excellent host, Prab Dhanoa.

My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. I also comment on how the story reflects on our common humanity. Which I manage to do even when the stars of the movie are giant blue aliens - that's how good I am.

Be sure to listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, from 10am to 11am on Saturdays at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102716819

Radio movie review: Avatar

Josh Rachlis® | MySpace Video

On the radio reviewing the movie The Taking Of Pelham 123!

Here’s my review of “The Taking Of Pelham 123.” It’s my first movie review, and I did it on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on December 12, 2009. I’m neither South Asian, nor a movie reviewer. But I’ve never let little details like that stop me.

I decided that for my take on movie reviewing, I wouldn’t do lots of research and prepare a bunch of notes. Because the average person seeing a movie doesn’t do research on the history of the film and its creators. They just watch the movie. I wanted my review to reflect how a non-movie reviewer movie would feel about the movie. So this is just me seeing a movie and then chatting about it, saying whatever comes to mind at the time. Which usually gets me into trouble, but again, I’ve never let that stop me.

Sadly, you’ll notice it’s a hard to hear me in this interview. I thought I’d be cool and modern by calling into the interview over the Internet via Skype and speaking into my laptop microphone. But it sounds so crappy, I might as well have called in with a tin can tied to a string. Lesson learned.

Be sure to listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, from 10am to 11am on Saturdays at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102665232

Radio movie review: The Taking Of Pelham 123

Josh Rachlis® | MySpace Video

My screenplay “Focus Group” wins the 2009 Script Showcase!

I won’t rehash everything I wrote in my previous entry about when I discovered that my romantic comedy feature film screenplay "Focus Group" was a finalist in the Script Showcase. But to sum up, when I finished the first draft of my first screenplay, I celebrated it by entering it in the first contest I could find online. And I was recently informed that I came in… First!

As part of the prize, a short query letter I wrote with my logline in it was e-blasted to a slew of producers and agents and such. I’ve already gotten about a dozen requests to read my script. Which right there is more people than who read my blog, so that’s pretty good.

Click on http://www.script-showcase.com/showcase/source/placings.cfm to see my name in the placings. Click on my name to see my bio. Though, you probably don’t need to read my bio. Since, if you’re reading this blog, you’re either my mother or myself. Both of whom already know my life history. A life history which, if my streak continues, will soon include “Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.” I just hope the Oscar prize includes an e-blast.

On CBC Radio's DNTO revealing I'm gullible!

The Jan. 9, 2010 episode of CBC Radio's Definitely Not The Opera was about Optimism. I told a story about how in university I was overly optimistic that my "friend" Grant back in Ottawa was telling the truth about things like his magic bicycle and his secret laboratory. There are many parts of this story that CBC didn't have time to include. Fortunately, they're all in the play I wrote on the subject. I'm optimistic that someone out there will hear the story and contact me to fund the play's production. Heck, I'm sure that, amongst his other remarkable accomplishments, Grant is a multi-millionaire theatre empresario. "Josh Man! I heard your story on the radio! I'm going to produce that play for you. As long as you come out to a bar to pick up chicks with me!" To hear the tale, click here or simply click Play below.

Me on CBC radio talking about a letter I wrote from camp!

Below is a clip me of me on the CBC Radio show Definitely Not The Opera, in the episode “Feeling Homesick.” I tell a story about how homesickness affected my letter-writing at camp. In preparation for telling my story, I dug out all the old letters I’d written home from camp. Couldn’t find the massive one from the story, but my mom thinks she has it in her stuff. We should find it and donate it to science. Because as you can hear in this clip, even the expert psychologist has never heard of “this kind of obsessional letter-writing.” Yep, it’s nice to know that my neuroticism can even turn something as common as homesickness into a uniquely disturbing pathology.

My 2nd appearance on CBC Radio is telling a story about a fork!

In this episode of the CBC radio show GO! that I attended the live taping of, the host Brent Bambury was going through his shoeboxes of memorabilia and telling the "true" stories behind each item. To help him de-clutter, he asked some special guests (like Kids In The Hall's Scott Thompson) to come up with their own theory of why Brent had that item, and if the audience liked the "made-up" story better Brent had to get rid of the item. I was pulled from the audience to be the first person to make up a story (subsequent story-tellers had written-up their stories beforehand). As you can tell from Brent's reaction, the audience was supposed to like his story better and he was supposed to keep his fork. But he hadn't counted on the hilariousness that is Josh Rachlis. As my Dad eloquently put it: "I'm so proud of you. You won a fixed contest."

Vote for my eco hip hop video in the Green Web Awards!

You know how I give you so much pleasure with these extremely entertaining blog posts? (Just go with me here for a second.) Well, it's time for you to give back.

I've just discovered through my Google Alert for "An Inconvenient Proposal" that the esteemed panel of international judges for the second annual Green Web Awards has short-listed my eco hip hip marriage proposal music video. (Thank goodness for Google Alerts, is all I can say. Otherwise I'd never know I was doing sort of okay at anything at all.)

Now the judging has been turned over to the public. So here's what I need you to do, public. Go to the "Judges short-list" page here. Type in your name. Scroll down to the "Social Media Hero" category. Select "An Inconvenient Proposal: A love song for Laurie David." Then, select and copy the YouTube address that's right under the title. Scroll down to the bottom and paste the address into the "Judges Award: Best of the Best" category.

And voila! You have my everlasting gratitude. I don't know what prize I'd win from this contest. I just know that I haven't won anything since winning "Most Improved Water-Skiier" at B'Nai Brith summer camp when I was 12, and I'd really like to win something again.

I'm a finalist in the Script Showcase Screenwriting Competition!

This Spring, I finished the first draft of my first feature film screenplay. As with all first drafts of a feature, it needs to be worked on and revised and have more drafts written. However, I was so giddy to have finished 120 pages of SOMETHING, I went rogue and entered it into some L.A.-based screenplay contest I'd seen listed at MovieBytes.com. And then I promptly forgot about it. But then this morning, in my daily "Google Alert" for "Josh Rachlis" (if that makes me vain, then I don't want to be, um, non-vain), amongst the usual hits for my own YouTube page and my own Tweets, I noticed a link to something about the finalists for The Script Showcase Screenwriting Competition. I followed it to the Contest Placings page to discover that, unbeknownst to me, I'd made the Quarter Finals, then the Semi-Finals, and I'm now in the top 8 Finalists remaining. Meaning I've already won some prizes. And, according to the rules, it sounds pretty hard to get there:

Judging will be conducted in two separate elimination rounds, plus a Quarter Final, a Semi Final and a Final round. The submissions receiving the top two hundred (200) scores will proceed to the second elimination round and scored based upon the same judging criteria as round one.
Thirty two (32) Quarter Finalists will be chosen from the second elimination round.
Sixteen (16) Semi Finalists will be chosen from the Quarter Finalists.
Eight (8) Finalists will be chosen from the Semi Finalists.
Three (3) Winners will be chosen from the Finalists.

The top 3 will be announced on December 15th, but I thought I'd blog about it now while there's still something to celebrate. So... Woo hoo. (That was me celebrating.)

Anyway, if you're a Hollywood producer, I'd be happy to email you the script. And if you're in the Mafia, I'd be happy if you arranged "accidents" for the 7 other top screenwriters. Ha ha, just kidding! Unless you really are in the Mafia. In which case, I'm totally serious.

Acting in a mall radio ad!

Returning in my 3rd radio ad for an awesome shopping facility, it's me as the shopping expert who's BFF's with a couple of women. Which is a true testament to my incredible acting skills. Because in real life, of course, no woman will even stand near me, much less discuss their "favourite things" with me. (Oh, and further evidence of my acting genius is that this spot ends with me just like the last one did. I actually ad-libbed that line in the last spot and the client liked it so much they put it in this script so that it's my catch-phrase. That's right, I have a catch-phrase!)

My 1st appearance on CBC Radio is as a perverted wine taster!

On Oct. 17, 2009, I attended the live taping of the CBC Radio show called GO! and was asked if I would go up and try the wine that the guests and host were trying. The host did a funny bit where he described the taste of the wine as, among other things, a "noble savage." Then it was my turn. Naturally, I managed to turn an innocuous 10-second wine review on Canada's national public radio station into an uncomfortably sexual situation.