Radio movie review of Pirate Radio

Listen below or at http://www.vimeo.com/11274027. This review of the movie “Pirate Radio" aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on April 24, 2010. Pirate Radio is the tale of a rock radio station getting around government restrictions in the 1960's by broadcasting from a boat. The DJ's were worshipped as heroes and got lots of babes. Which is kind of like my situation with these radio reviews. Except without a boat. And the worship. And the babes. Anyway, hear future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10-11am on 1650AM in Brampton or at http://www.cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Pirate Radio from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Date Night

Listen below or at http://vimeo.com/11272992.  It's my review of the movie “Date Night." Date Night is about a husband and wife who go out on the town, both seeking to escape the torture of having an attractive, funny spouse, adorable kids, a good-paying job and a beautiful house. I should have just shown them my own life and maybe they would have stayed home and stopped whining. Anyway, the review originally aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on April 17, 2010. Hear future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Brampton or at http://www.cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Date Night from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Acting in a cell phone radio ad

Here's a clever new radio ad that I had the honour of being cast in. I'm the first guy, who starts off saying, "So, what's your plan?" I think you'll agree, I really "cell" my performance. Listen to it below or by visiting http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xqWv8ki-RA.

Radio movie review of The Blind Side

Here’s my review of the movie “The Blind Side." It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on April 10, 2010. It's the true story of a disadvantaged Southern boy who's taken in by a rich woman (played by Sandra Bullock) and he learns to play football and goes to the NFL. It reminded me of when I joined the football team in high school. Except I was never allowed to actually play. Man, if only Sandra Bullock had adopted me, I could have gone far. But never say never, right? Does anyone have her email address? My parents will be happy to give me up for adoption. Listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this one below or at http://vimeo.com/10855339.

Radio movie review of The Blind Side from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Capitalism: A Love Story

Here’s my review of the movie “Capitalism: A Love Story." It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on April 3, 2010. It's a Michael Moore documentary about how capitalism is destroying us. Ha! I knew I was right to be my riding's youth delegate for the "socialist" New Democratic Party when I was in 4th year university. Of course, I had joined the young Conservatives club in 1st year - but that's only because I didn't understand things at the time. I just knew I liked the colour blue and that Shelagh Lemke and Sara Wilshaw were in the club and they were cute. Listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this one below or at http://vimeo.com/10854801.

Radio movie review of Capitalism: A Love Story from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

I illustrate the James Ready Beer Newsletter a 4th time!

For their latest newsletter, the good folks at James Ready Beer are putting out a giant calendar. Since this is a very new idea for them, they thought it was important to include some instructions on how to get to most out of the calendar, and how to use it safely. I was asked to provide some visuals for the instructions. So I read the instructions and came up with some ideas for pictures that might help make things more clear. Hopefully I succeeded better than when I try to make myself understood to my girlfriend (when I have a girlfriend).

Radio movie review of A Serious Man

Here’s my review of the movie “A Serious Man." It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on March 27, 2010. The movie is the story of a neurotic, depressed, Jewish man for whom nothing ever goes right. Hey, wait a minute. That's my life! The Coen Brothers must have stolen my diary! I'm going to sue those bastards! Or maybe not. Because I'd just lose the case. Because nothing ever goes right for me. Sigh. Anyway, listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Brampton (and maybe you can get the signal in Toronto) or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this one by clicking play in the video below or visiting http://vimeo.com/10616675.


Radio movie review of A Serious Man from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Pursue your dreams with me as your Creative Careers Consultant

I've posted this ad on Craigslist and Kijiji. I've got satisfied customers. Now it's time for you, dear Blog reader, to reap the benefits of my experience, too:

Been dreaming of trying out a Creative Career but don't know where to start? You're in luck, because Josh Rachlis (Actor, Writer, Director, Comedian, Copywriter, Radio Host,  Movie Reviewer, Cartoonist, Songwriter and more)  is now working as a Creative Careers Consultant.

When I started out as an actor, I thought a casting agent and a talent agent were the same thing. When I was thinking about getting into advertising, I thought that a Senior Copywriter was higher up than Creative Director. (FYI, I was wrong on both counts.) But through my own research and perseverance, I’ve found success, publicity and awards in a unique variety of creative fields. And now literally every day I get asked how to get into voice work. Or screenwriting. Or copywriting. And more. Consulting gives me a chance to answer your questions. I'll meet you for tea (which I call a Creativi-Tea). If you’d prefer, we could also do it by phone, email or Internet messenger. Through discussion with you I’ll find out what creative career would make you happy and whether you're right for the job. Then I’ll tell you how to get into that field, what classes to take, whom to contact, and more. It also doesn’t hurt that, as a Copywriter, I actually hire voices for commercials I write. I love to discover great new talent and hopefully at some point I’ll be able to use you in my own spots.

If you already know what you want to pursue, we can delve deeper into how to make that happen. As an example, voice acting is the field most people ask me about. Common questions are:

How do I get into voice work?

Is it too late for me to get into voice acting?

Do I have the talent to be a voice actor?

What kind of voice acting is there?

What is a voice demo?

What should a voice demo sound like?

Do I need a voice demo?

Should I make a voice demo now?

Should I take classes?

What are the good classes to take?

Who are the good talent agents to send my stuff to?

We’ll also go over ways to promote yourself. I’ve been featured in two giant articles in The Toronto Star and the National Post. How did I make that happen? You’ll find out. I’ll talk to you about ways to build a brand for yourself, to create buzz, garner fans, get your work talked about and out there to as many people as possible. After one meeting with me, a girl I know who’s into helping people spiritually has launched a whole multi-media business based on her thoughts and teachings and even has interest now from TV producers. Another girl went from having no idea how to get into voice acting to being repped by Toronto’s top voice talent agency – all in the span of a month.

To show you why I’m qualified to answer your questions, here are just some of my creative achievements:

•Copywriting (15 years writing commercials for the biggest, most prestigious brands in the world)

•On-camera acting (I’m the famous Scottish Mini Man in the Nutri-Grain Minis Commercials)

•Voice work (commercials and animated TV shows in Canada, the US and Europe)

•Screenwriting (winner of the prestigious 2009 Script Showcase in LA)

•Radio Hosting:

-Talk radio host on Canada’s most listened to talk radio station, Toronto’s CFRB Newstalk 1010

-Appearances on CBC Radio’s Go and Definitely Not The Opera

-Regular movie reviews on Toronto’s CINA Radio 1650AM

•TV hosting (4 of my own year-long shows on Rogers Community Cable)

•Illustration (frequent illustrations in The Ottawa Citizen)

•Writing (Humour columns for The Ottawa Citizen and Strategy Magazine)

•Improv (Graduate of Second City Conservatory)

•Stand-up (Yuk's Yuk's, Second City, Laugh Resort)

•Live hosting (Ottawa Ad Awards, Jewish/Arab Comedy Night)

•#91 All-Time Most Viewed Comedian in Canada on YouTube

•Featured in large articles in The Toronto Star and National Post

I spent years trying to figure out how to get into these fields. All you need is an hour with me.

As far as I know, no other Copywriter has starred in his own TV ads. And I don’t know anyone who's got this particular mix of fields on their résumé. So take advantage of this unique storehouse of information and start down the path to the Creative Career you've always dreamed off.

To see my work, watch my videos at http://www.youtube.com/joshrachlis and read my latest news at http://www.joshrachlis.blogspot.com. You can also check out my writing and advertising work at http://www.myspace.com/joshrachlis.

A Creativi-Tea is a tiny price to pay for a valuable investment in your creative future. So email me to set up your Creativi-Tea today at josh.rachlis AT g m a i l . c o m

Radio movie review of She's Out Of My League

Here’s my review of the movie “She's Out Of My League." It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on March 20, 2010. I was excited to see this movie because, from the title, I thought it was going to be a documentary about my life. Because every girl I meet is out of my... Anyway, it wasn't about me. But the main actor, Jay Baruchel, is a geeky guy from Ottawa. So it's kind of about me. Except that Jay has built himself a successful, lucrative career in film and a glamourous, fantastic life in Hollywood. And I'm in Canada, uploading reviews of his movies to my blog. A blog which nobody other than my mother reads. So Jay has succeeded in life and I have failed. Anyway, what I was talking about? Oh, right. The movie review. Listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this one below or at http://vimeo.com/10381791.

Radio movie review of She's Out Of My League from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of The Informant!

Here’s my review of the movie “The Informant!” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on March 13, 2010. In the spirit of the movie,  which is about a corporate spy in the early 1990's, I called in my review from a pay phone in the street, just like a corporate spy in the early 1990's would have done. This shows how dedicated I am to giving my listeners an authentic experience. It also shows how afraid I am of getting brain cancer from my cell phone. But mostly the dedication thing. Listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this one below or at http://vimeo.com/10380583.

Radio movie review of The Informant! from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Inglourious Basterds

Here’s my review of the movie “Inglourious Basterds.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on March 6, 2010. Did I predict the Best Supporting Actor Oscar won by Christoph Waltz? Did I provide a tribute to my grandfather's brave contribution to World War II? Did I alienate our Nazi listeners? Find out by clicking on the video below or going to http://vimeo.com/10074146. And tune in for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab,” Saturdays 10am-11am, at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Inglourious Basterds from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

My "Mini Man" commercial scripts, for a deaf fan

Recently, a guy requested to be my friend on Facebook. Before accepting, I asked him if I knew him. Our exchange is below. I think it’s a pretty touching story, and he said he’d be cool with me sharing it on my blog. Hopefully it inspires us all to keep smiling in the face of adversity.

friend request

Between Bryan Adam Grant and You

Josh Rachlis 01 February at 09:44

hi, do i know you?

Bryan Adam Grant 01 February at 09:47

Not really. Are you the same Josh Rachlis who's in those Mini-Man commercials?

Josh Rachlis 01 February at 09:52

aye, laddie. that's me!

Bryan Adam Grant 01 February at 09:55

Sweet! :) Can you do me a favour then? I'm deaf you see and I saw those commercials when I still had my hearing but now since I can't hear, I can't remember what's being said. I can remember a bit but not the whole thing. I was wondering if I could get the text for both of them, if it's not too much trouble? I would really appreciate it.

So, for Bryan - obviously a man of bravery and of impeccable taste in comedy - below are the videos, accompanied by the words I wrote and spoke.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ey2kcE3avc

“Mini Man”

MINI MAN: New Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. Chewy granola mixed with delicious flavours… Oh, it’s so true. But I’m not sure why they call them “mini.” Because they’re huge! Here, look at the size of this baby! (Aaah) Pieces of fruit the size of my nephew’s head! Oh, but you can eat a lot or just a little. Who could eat even one of these behemoths! This could feed an army for a year! Oh, hello… Aaaahhh!!

WOMAN: Aaaah!!!!

ANNOUNCER: New Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Granola Bites. They’re mini… If you’re not.

MINI MAN: I’m okay.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oAue8sfTNZ4

“Mini Lawyer”

MINI MAN: Ladies and gentlemen. The same Kellogg’s that deceived you with Mini Granola Bites now brings us… this! Oh, the goodness of Nutri-Grain, but mini. Which would be wonderful, aye. If… it… were… TRUE! Does this delicious snack look mini to any of you? “No.” “Why?” Because it’s huge! This is classic size misrepresentation!

ANNOUNCER: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Mini Cereal Bars. They’re mini… If you’re not.

MINI MAN: I rest my case.

I illustrate the James Ready Beer Newsletter a 3rd time!

I've been called back into illustrating action! This time, a James Ready Beer employee took the computer and printer to Newfoundland and forgot them at his parent's house. So I was asked to hand-write the James Ready Newsletter, and once again took the liberty of adding my own little illustrations, thoughts and comments. Like me, these drawings look a lot better after a James Ready or two. Just sayin'. :-)

Radio movie review of Law Abiding Citizen

Here’s my review of the movie “Law Abiding Citizen.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 27, 2010. In the interest of full-disclosure, I will admit to having a man-crush on Mr. Gerard Butler. But I want you to know that I in no way let this influence my review. I may be a lovesick puppy, but I'm a professional one. Listen by clicking on the video below or going to http://vimeo.com/9969329. And listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab,” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Law Abiding Citizen from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Zombieland

Here’s my review of the movie “Zombieland.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 20, 2010. Don't worry, it's got scary zombies, but it's mostly a comedy. Just like how in the review I talk about my first slow dance with a girl in Grade 6. Scary and funny. Hmm... Now that I think about it, my love life hasn't really changed since then. Listen by clicking on the video below or going to http://vimeo.com/9969143. And listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab,” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://cinaradio.com.

Radio movie review of Zombieland from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of The Hurt Locker

Here’s my review of the movie “The Hurt Locker.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on February 6, 2010.

My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. A regular guy who will persevere through anything to get you your review. You see, when I sat down to watch this movie, my stomach started tensing up right at the opening scene. I thought, “Wow, this is one powerful movie!” After the movie, though, I was still in stomach agony. Turns out I had the Norwalk stomach flu thingy. But, even on zero sleep, I still forced myself to a land-line in the morning so I could call in the review. Because nothing’s more important to me than fans like you. You are my Pepto Bismol. (Isn’t that a beautiful sentiment? Hey, Makers of Pepto Bismol, wanna sponsor my reviews?)

Listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vimeo.com/9284644

Radio movie review of The Hurt Locker from Josh Rachlis on Vimeo.

Radio movie review of Sherlock Holmes

Here’s my review of the movie “Sherlock Holmes.” It aired on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on January 30, 2010.

My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. However, I must admit that I’ve been researching Robert Downey Jr. for the past few years, to figure out how I could maybe be as cool as him. I’ve also been researching ways to get Rachel McAdams to appear in my eco-comedy videos. Although, I’m probably wasting my time on that research, since I didn’t even have the guts to go up to her when I saw her walking around at the Word On The Street Festival in Toronto this Summer.

Listen for future reviews on “The Scope Today with Prab” Saturdays 10am-11am on 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102807282

Radio movie review: Sherlock Holmes

Josh Rachlis® | MySpace Video

On the radio reviewing the movie Up In The Air!

Here’s my review of the movie “Up In The Air.” I did it on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on January 20, 2010, with the show’s excellent host, Prab Dhanoa.

My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. Although, sometimes my life turns out to be my research. Like when the movie’s about a guy whose apartment is a barren shell and who spends all his time fleeing from the commitment of meaningful relationships.

Be sure to listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, from 10am to 11am on Saturdays at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102717527

Radio movie review: Up In The Air

Josh Rachlis® | MySpace Video

On the radio reviewing the movie Avatar!

Here’s my review of the movie “Avatar.” I did it on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on January 13, 2010, along with the show's excellent host, Prab Dhanoa.

My movie reviews don’t involve research, I review them like a regular guy who just went to a movie. I also comment on how the story reflects on our common humanity. Which I manage to do even when the stars of the movie are giant blue aliens - that's how good I am.

Be sure to listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, from 10am to 11am on Saturdays at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102716819

Radio movie review: Avatar

Josh Rachlis® | MySpace Video

On the radio reviewing the movie The Taking Of Pelham 123!

Here’s my review of “The Taking Of Pelham 123.” It’s my first movie review, and I did it on 1650AM CINA Radio, Toronto’s South Asian Radio Station, on December 12, 2009. I’m neither South Asian, nor a movie reviewer. But I’ve never let little details like that stop me.

I decided that for my take on movie reviewing, I wouldn’t do lots of research and prepare a bunch of notes. Because the average person seeing a movie doesn’t do research on the history of the film and its creators. They just watch the movie. I wanted my review to reflect how a non-movie reviewer movie would feel about the movie. So this is just me seeing a movie and then chatting about it, saying whatever comes to mind at the time. Which usually gets me into trouble, but again, I’ve never let that stop me.

Sadly, you’ll notice it’s a hard to hear me in this interview. I thought I’d be cool and modern by calling into the interview over the Internet via Skype and speaking into my laptop microphone. But it sounds so crappy, I might as well have called in with a tin can tied to a string. Lesson learned.

Be sure to listen for future reviews on The Scope Today with Prab, from 10am to 11am on Saturdays at 1650AM in Toronto or at http://www.cinaradio.com. And listen to this review by clicking on the video below or by clicking here: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=102665232

Radio movie review: The Taking Of Pelham 123

Josh Rachlis® | MySpace Video

My screenplay “Focus Group” wins the 2009 Script Showcase!

I won’t rehash everything I wrote in my previous entry about when I discovered that my romantic comedy feature film screenplay "Focus Group" was a finalist in the Script Showcase. But to sum up, when I finished the first draft of my first screenplay, I celebrated it by entering it in the first contest I could find online. And I was recently informed that I came in… First!

As part of the prize, a short query letter I wrote with my logline in it was e-blasted to a slew of producers and agents and such. I’ve already gotten about a dozen requests to read my script. Which right there is more people than who read my blog, so that’s pretty good.

Click on http://www.script-showcase.com/showcase/source/placings.cfm to see my name in the placings. Click on my name to see my bio. Though, you probably don’t need to read my bio. Since, if you’re reading this blog, you’re either my mother or myself. Both of whom already know my life history. A life history which, if my streak continues, will soon include “Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.” I just hope the Oscar prize includes an e-blast.

On CBC Radio's DNTO revealing I'm gullible!

The Jan. 9, 2010 episode of CBC Radio's Definitely Not The Opera was about Optimism. I told a story about how in university I was overly optimistic that my "friend" Grant back in Ottawa was telling the truth about things like his magic bicycle and his secret laboratory. There are many parts of this story that CBC didn't have time to include. Fortunately, they're all in the play I wrote on the subject. I'm optimistic that someone out there will hear the story and contact me to fund the play's production. Heck, I'm sure that, amongst his other remarkable accomplishments, Grant is a multi-millionaire theatre empresario. "Josh Man! I heard your story on the radio! I'm going to produce that play for you. As long as you come out to a bar to pick up chicks with me!" To hear the tale, click here or simply click Play below.

Me on CBC radio talking about a letter I wrote from camp!

Below is a clip me of me on the CBC Radio show Definitely Not The Opera, in the episode “Feeling Homesick.” I tell a story about how homesickness affected my letter-writing at camp. In preparation for telling my story, I dug out all the old letters I’d written home from camp. Couldn’t find the massive one from the story, but my mom thinks she has it in her stuff. We should find it and donate it to science. Because as you can hear in this clip, even the expert psychologist has never heard of “this kind of obsessional letter-writing.” Yep, it’s nice to know that my neuroticism can even turn something as common as homesickness into a uniquely disturbing pathology.

My 2nd appearance on CBC Radio is telling a story about a fork!

In this episode of the CBC radio show GO! that I attended the live taping of, the host Brent Bambury was going through his shoeboxes of memorabilia and telling the "true" stories behind each item. To help him de-clutter, he asked some special guests (like Kids In The Hall's Scott Thompson) to come up with their own theory of why Brent had that item, and if the audience liked the "made-up" story better Brent had to get rid of the item. I was pulled from the audience to be the first person to make up a story (subsequent story-tellers had written-up their stories beforehand). As you can tell from Brent's reaction, the audience was supposed to like his story better and he was supposed to keep his fork. But he hadn't counted on the hilariousness that is Josh Rachlis. As my Dad eloquently put it: "I'm so proud of you. You won a fixed contest."

Vote for my eco hip hop video in the Green Web Awards!

You know how I give you so much pleasure with these extremely entertaining blog posts? (Just go with me here for a second.) Well, it's time for you to give back.

I've just discovered through my Google Alert for "An Inconvenient Proposal" that the esteemed panel of international judges for the second annual Green Web Awards has short-listed my eco hip hip marriage proposal music video. (Thank goodness for Google Alerts, is all I can say. Otherwise I'd never know I was doing sort of okay at anything at all.)

Now the judging has been turned over to the public. So here's what I need you to do, public. Go to the "Judges short-list" page here. Type in your name. Scroll down to the "Social Media Hero" category. Select "An Inconvenient Proposal: A love song for Laurie David." Then, select and copy the YouTube address that's right under the title. Scroll down to the bottom and paste the address into the "Judges Award: Best of the Best" category.

And voila! You have my everlasting gratitude. I don't know what prize I'd win from this contest. I just know that I haven't won anything since winning "Most Improved Water-Skiier" at B'Nai Brith summer camp when I was 12, and I'd really like to win something again.

I'm a finalist in the Script Showcase Screenwriting Competition!

This Spring, I finished the first draft of my first feature film screenplay. As with all first drafts of a feature, it needs to be worked on and revised and have more drafts written. However, I was so giddy to have finished 120 pages of SOMETHING, I went rogue and entered it into some L.A.-based screenplay contest I'd seen listed at MovieBytes.com. And then I promptly forgot about it. But then this morning, in my daily "Google Alert" for "Josh Rachlis" (if that makes me vain, then I don't want to be, um, non-vain), amongst the usual hits for my own YouTube page and my own Tweets, I noticed a link to something about the finalists for The Script Showcase Screenwriting Competition. I followed it to the Contest Placings page to discover that, unbeknownst to me, I'd made the Quarter Finals, then the Semi-Finals, and I'm now in the top 8 Finalists remaining. Meaning I've already won some prizes. And, according to the rules, it sounds pretty hard to get there:

Judging will be conducted in two separate elimination rounds, plus a Quarter Final, a Semi Final and a Final round. The submissions receiving the top two hundred (200) scores will proceed to the second elimination round and scored based upon the same judging criteria as round one.
Thirty two (32) Quarter Finalists will be chosen from the second elimination round.
Sixteen (16) Semi Finalists will be chosen from the Quarter Finalists.
Eight (8) Finalists will be chosen from the Semi Finalists.
Three (3) Winners will be chosen from the Finalists.

The top 3 will be announced on December 15th, but I thought I'd blog about it now while there's still something to celebrate. So... Woo hoo. (That was me celebrating.)

Anyway, if you're a Hollywood producer, I'd be happy to email you the script. And if you're in the Mafia, I'd be happy if you arranged "accidents" for the 7 other top screenwriters. Ha ha, just kidding! Unless you really are in the Mafia. In which case, I'm totally serious.

Acting in a mall radio ad!

Returning in my 3rd radio ad for an awesome shopping facility, it's me as the shopping expert who's BFF's with a couple of women. Which is a true testament to my incredible acting skills. Because in real life, of course, no woman will even stand near me, much less discuss their "favourite things" with me. (Oh, and further evidence of my acting genius is that this spot ends with me just like the last one did. I actually ad-libbed that line in the last spot and the client liked it so much they put it in this script so that it's my catch-phrase. That's right, I have a catch-phrase!)

My 1st appearance on CBC Radio is as a perverted wine taster!

On Oct. 17, 2009, I attended the live taping of the CBC Radio show called GO! and was asked if I would go up and try the wine that the guests and host were trying. The host did a funny bit where he described the taste of the wine as, among other things, a "noble savage." Then it was my turn. Naturally, I managed to turn an innocuous 10-second wine review on Canada's national public radio station into an uncomfortably sexual situation.

Talking Bollocks - Ep.10: Birthdays!

For the big round number of Episode Ten, we're talking about birthdays. Which are also round numbers. Well, when the birthday is a round number. Which mine isn't. But it's still coming up on Thursday. Hence the theme. But naturally our discussion veers wonderfully off-topic, touching on Aardman Animation, Pride and Prejudice, lesbians, Josh's new condo and whether girls learn how to kiss by practising on each other. Which I still insist they do. And it's my birthday, so goddamit, I get to believe what I want.

For those of you who are new to Talking Bollocks, it's a talk show where Marilla and I interview each other every time, because nobody's given us a talk show yet. But I'm going to get one soon, because I think about it all the time. Just like that movie The Secret says to do. And yes, we touched on The Secret in this episode as well.

P.S. You'll also notice that the framing places Marilla front and centre, leaving me barely on the screen at all. Marilla claims this was an accident. But I suspect it reveals her true intentions for the show. Our "audient" Jenn, who was sitting right next to the camera, also somehow failed to correct the framing. Maybe I just won't bother showing up for the next episode and we'll see if anyone notices or cares. Although, I'm sure that little plan would backfire. Like every time I break up with a girl as a "test" and then they get married to someone else.

Mine was the funniest marriage proposal EVER!!!

I haven't produced anything new lately, so I figure in the spirit of environmentalism I'll "recycle" an older creative product, with the help of some fresh news on the subject from the site RecycledBride.com. This morning, I got a Facebook friend request with this very sweet attached message:

Tracy says, "Josh Rachlis, you rock. That Laurie David proposal was the funniest thing I've seen in ages. I blogged about it, check out my website, blah blah blah http://www.recycledbride.com/blog/ ...but most of all, get in touch if you're ever going to be in LA. I'd love to meet you and introduce you to a fantastic group of people. You are bound for great things! Best - Tracy (tracy@recycledbride.com)."

This makes me happy on a couple of levels. One, I want to visit L.A. before the end of the year, so this means I might actually have something to do while I'm there. And two, if you visit the link to her blog entry, which you can do by clicking here, you'll see that apparently my marriage proposal to environmentalist Laurie David was the funniest marriage proposal EVER!!! However, it was still unsuccessful. So, gentlemen, the lesson is, don't bother being funny with your marriage proposal. Although, I'm not sure what to recommend doing. My serious marriage proposals don't work either. Still, check out this site for "eco-savvy brides" if you're getting married soon. Which you likely will be if you dated me recently. Apparently anyone who dates me these days becomes engaged to someone else within 6 months. Which means that either they decide "I'll never meet someone as great as Josh. So I might as well marry the next guy who comes along." Or they decide "If that's what dating is like, I never want to date again. So I might as well marry the next guy who comes along." I prefer to think it's the former. Regardless, if you wanna get married fast, go on a date with me. Ladies, take a number!

P.S. Oh, and naturally the girl I stayed with when I was in LA last January is now engaged. (In fact, she met the guy while I was staying with her. I've got some serious powers, man!) So if you know of a cheap place to rent in LA, or if I can crash on your LA futon for a bit, lemme know!

Acting in iLane radio ad!

Here's me acting in a radio ad for iLane. I've got about 5 syllables in this baby, but I make them count. And, ever the copywriter, it was my brilliant idea to move my second line up into the middle of the announcer's speech, rather than after "...is his business." So, like, when you cast me in things, you get added value. Just sayin'. Anyway, iLane sounds pretty cool. When they come out with a version that I can attach to my Metropass or bike, I'm so there.

My (painful) Citytv Official Comedy Correspondent Audition

So here's my audition for the Citytv Official Comedy Correspondent Contest. You can view all the entries by clicking here. The rules: Discuss the comedic highlights of at least 2 shows from their new comedy line-up, all in under 60 seconds. I know what you're thinking: "Josh can do no wrong! He's always so hilarious! So this audition will be hilarious, too!" Well, maybe those of you who saw my U.N. Peace Day stand-up act aren't thinking that. But anyway, yes, this is going to be hilarious. But not in a good way. Allow me to explain (i.e. make excuses). I watched on Thursday, October 8, 2009. Normally on Thursdays, The Jay Leno Show would be preceded by the new show Community. Except on this night, for some reason there was a 30 Rock rerun before Jay Leno. But the big stumbling block was that I was dying of a bad cold. I could barely think straight, much less be funny. But the deadline was Friday, October 9 at 11:59 p.m. and so I had no choice but to make the video right then and there. None of my ramblings made much sense. But they made even less sense once I cut out enough words to boil it down to 60 seconds. What was cut out? Well, I talked about how Citytv comedy would make me feel good and thus help heal my cold. I talked about how I was wearing my correspondent fedora, complete with Citytv press pass in the ribbon, and how it's a very hard fedora because it's from the dollar store. I talked about how on this particular night not only did the comedy make me feel good because it was funny, it boosted my self esteem in many ways, which made me feel even better. For instance, seeing that Tina Fey can't get a boyfriend made me feel better about being a loser in the world of love. Then I talked about how in his opening monologue, Jay Leno mentioned a study where 70% of people surveyed said their first sexual experience was positive. So, you see, it all sort of made sense. But in my cold-addled haze, I didn't plan it out to fit properly into the 60 seconds. So I'm counting on you, dear fans... Okay, dear fan... Singular... Assuming there's even just one out there... to go to leave comments at the contest YouTube page and on the contest Facebook page to let Citytv know that normally I'm quite amusing and that they should watch my other videos and give me the prize just for being so generally awesome. Can you do that for me? No? Sigh. Oh well, it was worth a shot.

Watch Talking Bollocks-Ep.9: Being Famous

On my birthday last November, I gave myself one year to become famous. The year's almost done. So Marilla and I discuss what life will be like when we're famous. Areas covered include how to get involved in a sex scandal, George Clooney's alleged bisexuality and William Shatner's alleged girdle. This episode was filmed on Sept. 23, 2009. TALKING BOLLOCKS is a show born out of frustration - both Josh and Rill want to host a talk show. Until they get the gig, they're interviewing themselves. Find more of Marilla Wex at marillawex.com and more of Josh Rachlis at, um, well, here. Or youtube.com/joshrachlis.

Celebrity Josh - Ep.7: I find a celeb! Or do I?

After unsuccessfully combing the Toronto International Film Festival for a celebrity, I'm about to give up. When suddenly, I spot paparazzi. I spot a bodyguard. I spot... Could it be?? (For the whole saga from the beginning, visit www.YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh.)

Stand-up comedy at Green Party meeting for Day of Peace!

Sept. 21, 2009. The Green Party held a meeting for the U.N. International Day Of Peace. They asked me to do some green stand-up comedy and say something about peace. Little did they suspect, I'm actually against peace...

Celebrity Josh - Ep.6: Sexy guestlist girl!

It's hard to get into a nightclub on a regular night. Especially when you look like me. And when it's a celebrity party? Forget it. Unless, of course, you're blessed with the charm and quick-thinking of a natural born Celebrity Hunter. For the entire saga, visit www.YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh.

Celebrity Josh - Ep.5: Yorkville!

For my latest adventure at www.YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh, I learned top-secret info that when in Toronto, celebrities hang out in an area "Yorkville." So I went there and checked out the yellow restaurant called Sassafraz... Then the big rock that people sit on... And then finally decided to ask the public for help. Which isn't cheating. It's called "gathering intelligence."

Celebrity Josh - Ep.4: Working out in the gym!

Celebrities are in great shape. So surely they go to the gym. (This is the kind of razor-sharp deductive reasoning you need in order to be the best Celebrity Hunter.) So I went to a gym, hoping to spot celebrities working out while they were in town for the Toronto International Film Festival. While scoping out the gym, I did my patented Celebrity Hunter Workout®. Consult a physician before embarking on this grueling regimen. To follow the saga from the beginning, visit www.YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh.

Celebrity Josh - Ep.3: Practicing on non-celebrity bikini girl in hot tub!

Normally "Celebrity Hunting" involves just finding celebrities. But for this assignment, I have to talk to a celebrity and get them to try the Orville Redenbacher Select White Popcorn. So, while I was wandering around a hotel searching for celebrities, I decided to talk to a non-celebrity to practice my talking skills. This girl was nice enough to let me practice on her. And it was extra fortuitous, because a girl in a bikini in a hot tub is pretty much as close as you can get to being a celebrity without actually being a celebrity, right?

Celebrity Josh - Ep.2: Disguised as room service!

For my latest adventure at YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh, I decided to infiltrate a hotel. But I still had to come up with a way to get them to come to open their hotel room door and try the Orville Redenbacher Select White popcorn. I also had to figure out which room had a celebrity in it. Fortunately, I had my Celebrity Hunting knowledge to guide me...

Watch my new Celebrity Hunter show!

Didn't know I was a Celebrity Hunter? That's because I didn't have my own show. Until now! Check out the 1st episode of Celebrity Josh: The Celebrity Hunter below or by clicking here. On the show, I announce the big news that Orville Redenbacher is sponsoring me! Well, not really "sponsoring." More like "allowing." But let's not quibble over semantics. The important part is that I'm going to be going around the Toronto International Film Festival trying to find a celebrity so I can get them to try Orville's new Select White Popcorn. Stay tuned to www.YouTube.com/CelebrityJosh for my adventures!

Listen to me acting in a Zellers radio ad!

Apparently these Moonlight Madness sales bring in huge business to Zellers. Perhaps it's because of the great deals. But I prefer to think it's because I originally wrote the ads and continue to voice them. In any case, I think I should walk around a Zellers looking at prices while exclaiming: "That's MADNESS!" I think that will be a lot of fun until I get escorted out by security.

Read The Toronto Star article about my eco habit!

On a balmy day a few years ago around Bay Street, I spotted a guy in BMW sitting back and relaxing with the engine running and the windows open. I tossed one of my handmade brochures about the dangers of idling onto his passenger seat. A few blocks later, I heard a menacing voice say: "Hey, Treehugger." Then I felt a hand grab my arm and heard: "If you ever touch my car again, I'll kill you." This shook me up. But I was glad that he had to stop idling in order to come after me. Hopefully he will read this article in the Toronto Star today and feel bad about being mean to me. Or, he'll now know my name and will track me down to finish the job. Hmmm... Okay, never mind. That wasn't me with the idling brochure. Must have been some other devastatingly handsome, hairless fellow. The article is still about me, though. To read it, click here.

Watch me MC a Jewish/Arab peace concert!

May 31st, 2009. I was the Jew co-hosting a Jewish/Arab peace concert in Montreal with Arab comedienne Eman. There was beautiful music, dance and poetry performed by Jews and Arabs. An audience of open-minded people of all races and religions. And how did I choose to use this valuable opportunity to promote world harmony? I chose to shamelessly hit on Eman the entire time we were on stage. Shockingly, I got nowhere with her. But, on the bright side, it seems my hosting didn't quite cause Armageddon. Though, after the show a Palestinian psychologist asked me if I'd perform the same act at the opening of his new Jungian Psychology centre. So maybe I'll have a second chance to ignite a world war.

Click here an article that ran before the show.
Click here for the Montreal Dialogue Group that put on the show: http://www.dialoguegroup.org/
And click here for Eman, the Arab comedienne and future ex-Mrs. Rachlis.

This video is the introduction to the show. Eman and I did little jokes in between the acts, too. I'll post those if anyone wants to see them. Aw heck, who am I kidding? I'll post them regardless.

Listen to me acting in a Walmart radio ad!

Me as "Student 1" in a Walmart radio ad. I start off cool, but then I'm exposed for being a loser. Just like when I was actually in university. Without the cool part.

Listen to me acting in a radio ad for Drenched Water Ski Fest!

Below is me as "Guy 2" in a radio ad for Drenched, a pretty awesome-sounding water ski festival in Alberta. Water skiing was actually my favourite activity at summer camp, so this is especially meaningful to me. Even though I have no idea what I'm saying in the ad. Okay, that's not true. At the session, they told us what the dialogue means. But for the audition, my co-star - Scott Gorman - and I were clueless. But I guess it worked for us, because we auditioned together and we both got chosen for the spot! That's some magical chemistry there. They even wound up using our little improvised bit at the end. That growling was my idea. And guess what? Turns out Scott acted in A Midsummer Night's Dream with my sister Naomi a few years ago. So this guy is pretty much part of the family. The brother I never had. The son I'll never conceive. The husband I'll never... Okay, you get the idea. Oh, and a "hungry sea lion" is a cougar.

I've illustrated the James Ready Beer Newsletter! (Twice!)

The good folks at James Ready Beer are doing everything they can to keep their beer costing just a buck a bottle. That means cutting expenses around the factory. So when their old computer printer broke recently, they had to find another cheap way to publish their popular in-case newsletter. And nothing's cheaper than, well, me. So I drew their newsletter. I took the liberty of adding a few of my own personal flourishes and I guess people liked them, because I was asked to draw the next newsletter too. (Anyone know a cheap printer repair guy? My hand's starting to cramp up.)

Watch Talking Bollocks, Episode 8: Marriage

Josh interviews Rill about what it's like to be married. Josh talks about his thoughts on marriage, too. It's funny, but also touching. Like when in the 80's, you'd have a serious issue on a sitcom and the ads for it would say: "A very special episode of Family Ties." That's what this is. A very special episode of Talking Bollocks. Filmed on June 14, 2009. To view it, click here.

"Talking Bollocks" is a chat show born out of frustration - both Josh and Rill want to host a talk show. Until they get the gig they're interviewing themselves. This week they have a studio audience. Well, Josh's friend Jocelyn. So more of an audient. For more of these fabulous hosts, visit Marilla Wex at www.marillawex.com and Josh Rachlis at www.youtube.com/JoshRachlis

Check out me being inteviewed about my green comedy!

Here's an interview I did about my green comedy on the Liquid Lunch show on ThatChannel.com on April 2, 2009. In the schedule listing they referred to me as "Eco comedian Josh Rachlis." That has a nice ring to it.

I talk about my love for Laurie David, how polluting the air can't possibly be a good thing, and why it's not about saving "the environment," it's about saving ourselves.

The real question, though, is why I decided to have them show my topless audition video at the end instead of just screening the original Laurie David web cam proposal. Sometimes I wonder about myself.

You can listen to and download the audio of the interview by clicking here. Or you can watch it below.

Josh interviewed about his eco comedy on Liquid Lunch show

Watch Talking Bollocks, Episode 7: What it's like to be a Jew

In this episode, Rill interviews Josh about what it's like to be a Jew. Josh discusses dating Jewish women, reminisces about attending Camp B'nai Brith and reveals why he wishes he were Hassidic. Rill, who's not Jewish but is married a "hard-core Jew," shares her anti-Semitic sculpture from Poland. WARNING: Content may offend. On so many levels. Not sure I can recommend this one to my mom. Which is sad. We really should start making these at least sort of mom-friendly. Especially since she's pretty much the only person interested in watching this crap.

This episode was filmed on June 7, 2009. TALKING BOLLOCKS is a talk show born out of frustration - both Josh and Rill want to host a talk show. Until they get the gig they're interviewing themselves. This week they have a studio audience. Well, Josh's friend Jocelyn. So really, just an audient. Catch Marilla Wex at marillawex.com and Josh Rachlis at, well, the site you're already at.

Check out the brochure I drew for kids visiting the Ottawa Citizen!

You already know my mom's brilliant. But here's yet more proof. Last year, I was up in Ottawa the weekend of Doors Open Ottawa. I was keen on seeing the green roof at the water filtration plant. My parents, ever tolerant of my quirks, took me to see it. At the filtration plant, they had an educational brochure for kids feature cartoon illustrations of Mr. Drip, a big water drop with legs and arms and a face. Not sure if this was educational or just made kids terrified of water drops. But anyway, cut to a year later, and it's Doors Open Ottawa time again. My mom faxes me the Mr. Drip brochure that she presciently saved for some reason and calls me up with the idea to do something similar for kids who'll be visiting the Ottawa Citizen. Well! I love the Ottawa Citizen. And I love kids. And I love drawing. So this was the perfect storm. Feast your eyes on what resulted. Take that, Mr. Drip!

Support my mom in her walk for Baycrest, the home for the elderly

Were you inspired by the story I wrote about my amazing mom, Louise Rachlis, who runs marathons and does so much work for charity? (To refresh your memory and get re-inspired, scroll down to the May 10th posting or just click here.)

Here's a chance to thank her for the inspiration: On Thursday, June 18, she'll be participating as a walker in the Baycrest Boardwalk, in support of Baycrest and its programs and services for seniors. My equally-amazing sister Naomi will joining her to be push my Grandma in her wheelchair for the Walk. The three of them hope you'll sponsor them in this very worthwhile cause!

Here's the lovely tale my mom wrote on her sponsorship page: "When we were packing up my mother for Baycrest last year, we found the Baycrest Volunteer smock she wore over a decade ago. She recognized then the value of Baycrest, and now she is benefiting from that value herself. Your support will provide crucial dollars for Baycrest's many programs and services for seniors. If you would like to make a donation, please do so. Otherwise, just celebrate… with my family the joy of my mother in her 91st year. Thank you."

Even a dollar or two will make a difference. For instance, if all my Facebook friends gave just a dollar each, that would be $1,164. Or, let's say all my real-life friends gave a dollar each. That would be, um, ok, that wouldn't be any money. Thank god for Facebook.

To make a sponsorship donation, please visit my mom's personal sponsorship page at http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?SID=2171381

Listen to me in GreenSaver radio ads!

Why am I doing things like hiding in an air duct and sitting on my front steps nude? Long story. But suffice it to say, it's thanks to the great work of GreenSaver. GreenSaver is a home energy audit company that will come to your home and tell you all the things you can do to save energy, money and the environment. I wrote them some scripts for fun YouTube videos. They decided to produce them as radio ads. And they asked me to act in them! (I'm sure you're particularly glad that the nude one got done as radio instead of being filmed.) As an eco-friendly guy, I'm excited to be helping out such a great green company. Book your home energy audit today at greensaver.ca. No hiding in air ducts or nudity required.

Listen to me in a James Ready Beer radio ad!

James Ready Beer wants your help to keep it a buck a bottle. So they asked drinkers to send in photos to fill the billboards they'd bought, because they couldn't afford to make ads. As thanks for the help, JR is now offering their radio ad space to loyal drinkers. Here's my contribution, which is currently on the air. (Carly at my work apparently turned red when people played it for her. Do you think that's a good sign? Hmmm... Come to think of it, she hasn't spoken to me since. But she's probably just shy, right?)